Volume 4

When inspiration hits, its unstoppable and I can’t let it pass me by. I grab my phone, start typing and can’t seem to stop-nor do I want to. But lately, it’s a little harder to come by so I’ll take it when and wherever I can get it.

But back to the reason inspiration decided to hit. Fitting in. It’s only two words but put those two words together and they can carry a lot of pressure, not to mention the myriad of feelings that come along with it. We can even begin to question ourselves, is there something wrong with me because I don’t seem to fit in?

Fitting in seems to be a survival skill, a way to ensure that we continue to thrive and in some instances, even be more productive when you feel accepted. But fitting in is easier said than done.

When you’re on the outside, not fitting in can be a lonely place and it is always tempting to join the large crowd assembling just outside. And if we would just take those few steps towards that crowd then we wouldn’t feel like an outsider anymore. We would feel included and maybe could go so far as to say daily life would be a little easier.

I have long been a population of one. I’ve kept to myself and never been one to blend in or join a crowd. If you’ve taken the time to read some of my other posts it’s clear that I’m more of a lone wolf and quite the introvert. I’ve always found it easier to write down my feelings, when it comes to speaking I don’t have quite the same ability. When I can, I’ll chose writing over speaking any day.

In my life, I’ve ventured off to the well travelled path and I can truly say that I have no regrets. To me, a life well lived should be measured by the number of times you went against the grain or coloured outside the lines, not the amount of times you decided against being different. Being like everyone else never appealed to me and to me wasn’t worth the cost of fitting in. I remember a story of my youth during an event in which I was the only kid who couldn’t seem to settle down-I’ve always loved to cause trouble and be in the middle- to this day that hasn’t changed. I was a wild one and all I can say is that I hope my future children take after their father.

But I digress, fitting in doesn’t equal success- definitely not personal success. Being the kid amongst 20 or so others who couldn’t stop talking or moving around did not make me any more or less successful. But when you’re a kid its easier to be yourself, it’s all you know. However, with age comes experience and some tough choices. One such choice I had to make going against the majority caused some strife. It was my first experience at a real “grown-up job” as I had called it. It was clear on day one, that majority ruled and this quiet new employee was not to last. It was not an easy experience for me, to say I felt bullied would be an understatement, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t come home crying sometimes. It was a small environment in a small town. But, I look back now, years later and don’t regret what I did. Sure I could’ve spoke up more or been more social, but that’s not me and it never will be. That job was a great opportunity and I’m glad to have had the chance to work there but I knew that it wasn’t for me. There are many things in life we look back on and think if I only would’ve tried harder, or hung in there a little bit longer maybe it would’ve worked out differently and maybe that’s true. But honestly, if you have the courage to be true to yourself and speak up when something is wrong, even if it comes with a price, it’s worth it.

Being different, carving your own path and being yourself is an accomplishment that not many can say they have achieved. The saying about the path of least resistance comes to mind. It’s the path that makes us think that putting our dreams on hold for now is okay. Instead, it’s more important to go with the flow then fight for a way through.We think we have all the time in the world to be able to achieve what we want to do with our lives so we place it on a shelf with the best intentions, but it becomes forgotten about.Things continue to pile up and and more and more boxes we labelled hopes and dreams become unimportant.Life goes on and time passes as it does- sometimes a little too quickly for my liking. However, it is a fact that no matter how much we try to hold onto it, it has a job to do and doesn’t owe us any favours.

But with time comes change, people grow, people learn and are given opportunities to take chances and hopefully to make the world a better place. There will always be space to grow as a society and things we could do better. As long as we keep learning, keep evolving and take any opportunity that we can to express ourselves then we will grow.There are so many new careers and specialties available to us that enables explore where our passion and talents will lead us to grow and build our confidence. For example, my blog has given me an opportunity to grow and to share things with others. Anyone with a voice who wishes to share their passion can become whatever they want to be, and that is something that I am truly grateful for. Whether I have readers or not, it has been a source of joy and something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.

It’s not always that way though, there is a hard road ahead for many of us,lots of bumps and even some huge potholes that we don’t see until it’s too late.There are hurdles to overcome and its is hard in the midst of these times to stay true to yourself, to remember why you’re here, what you’re doing and why it’s so important that you do it. For me it’s the meantime, that damn meantime, that takes it time to pass. The meantime that gets a little too comfortable for my liking. It settles itself in like an uninvited guest for the inevitable slow passing that always accompanies it. But we invite it in and we learn to make some room.

There is so much that we as humans are tested and challenged with, the last thing on our mind is trying to be ourselves and that’s fair.Like the full attic we have a way of forgetting about ourselves and that human drive to move forward takes over. Maybe we’re not meant to stand out too much, maybe we’re more comfortable being in the middle and not drawing too much attention to ourselves.

My mom recently said something to me that I find important repeating, she said

“We’re round pegs trying to fit into a square hole” that to me speaks volumes. Life has been designed for square pegs and a lot of our lives we have been those square pegs. But people change and in the process I believe we have become those round pegs yet we don’t realize it yet. Thank you mom for your undeniable ability to bring such wisdom and insight into my life- even if I don’t always see it.

So if we’re born to be those square pegs and suddenly no longer fit in those designated holes then what are we to do? Are we to try to make ourselves fit, try to figure out a way back to that square shape? Maybe that’s when it’s time to clean out our attics and dust off those boxes and take a look. Time to discover why we no longer fit and to be be proud of ourselves for growing and for changing.

Yet, in moments where we are tested,do we stand up for ourselves and stay true to us? Or do we choose that now is not the right time hoping it will come but never knowing fully if it will. I think that’s the moment when it is the best time to colour outside the lines, take a chance and put ourselves out there. The time to realize that we have nothing to lose and everything to gain. In my experience,it hasn’t always made my life easy and living my life my way according has cost me. The people who are really meant to be in your life and who are lucky enough to be a part of it, will accept you for you. Not those who think you to be like them or say what they want to hear when they want to hear it.

The most amazing and most authentic life is one where you can be you. True to your inner self, a true original. It’s the people who don’t join the crowd who are on their own path that end up making this world a better place.Finding those people in your life who love you for you, and who encourage you to be you are truly rare and make this path we walk a little less lonely and a heck of a lot more fun!

Until next time…

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